The Sense (and Gift) of Sight

As I tried to sit and write this post, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing….Not only has it been an extremely emotional week with my aunt’s passing, but there is SO much gratitude for this beautiful gift.  I observed myself looking through the lens I  have been seeing through, with all my experiences, perceptions, and beliefs and there is so much to see!

Watching my family comfort each other as they could see the grief and pain someone was experiencing, noticing the gestures of love through hugs, words, and their presence as they both mourned and celebrated someone’s life.  The vibrant colors of the flowers and the life they honored.  Seeing the ripple effect that one person made in each of our lives, connecting us in one beautiful tapestry that is ever coming together more and more incredibly. 

The gift of sight allows us to take in the life all around us in a 3-D fully experiential kind of way.  Sight allows us to see and appreciate the majestic mountain view, the simple beauty of a desert, the elegance of a rose or the vibrancy in wild flowers,  the vastness of the ocean, glorious sunrises and sunsets, the color of butterfly wings, witnessing a kind act of service, the loyalty of a dog or the playfulness of a kitty, and the depth and love of a living soul when looking into their eyes.  The world feels more incredible because we can see it, and when we really choose to see it.

The gift of sight also offers us the ability and possibility to perceive the world as safe, challenging, beautiful, positive, alive, sad, hard, ugly, painful, joyful….etc.  With our experiences from the past, it’s like looking through a particular lens that is designed  specifically with our unique journey, with all the ups and downs.

We see the world through the lens of _______________ (sorrow, pain, joy, security, freedom, etc).  Each of us creating a story about our lives that is validated each time we “see” something that matches that belief.  For example, I work with many clients in discovering a healthier relationship with their bodies, learn the skill of self-acceptance, and in feeling that they are worthy to have their heart’s heard.  Many of them have perceptions about themselves that there’s no way they can love themselves or be loved until they are “skinny enough, healthy enough, serving enough, doing enough, perfect enough…etc.”.   The thing with looking through an outdated lens is we will never be enough, and so we will validate that belief over and over and see the  world in ways that justify our thoughts and feelings about ourselves, creating experiences that validate how unlovable we really are. (Pushing people away, withdrawing, comparing ourselves to others, putting ourselves down, etc.

So how do we use this beautiful gift to shift the perspective if our current perspective is not one that is based on the truth? The truth is that we are divinely unconditionally loved, of infinite worth.  How can we see the world differently than our lifetime of experiences?

The answer is simple and may surprise you.  You don’t need to change anything.  You are already infinitely loved.  You are already equipped with everything you need inside of you as you connect to who you really are and Who’s you really are.  The key to seeing the world differently, is to fully accept and honor how you’ve seen it.  Accept where you are, without any judgment, recognizing the lens you see life through is designed to protect you.  Accepting where we are doesn’t mean we love where we are, or that there isn’t full accountability or owning your own power and ability to change your circumstances, but rather it means we take the first step of seeing our truth by owning where we are and where we’ve been.  We drop all resistance.  And in the process, the subconscious filter (lens) softens, and we can begin to see the truth shining through.

Stay tuned for the other posts on the gifts of the other senses and how to use them to our advantage!

If you find yourself struggling and needing clarity, contact me here to schedule a FREE discovery call.

 

 

 

Grief Comes in Unexpected Ways

Grief hits you in the strangest places and ways: Just pulling into a parking lot, when someone is talking about something totally unrelated, when preparing a meal, when someone uses the normal “how are you?” greeting, when walking the dog, when standing in line, sitting in church, etc.

This past week has been one wave of tears after another. Each time I believed there was nothing left, the tears kept surfacing and leaking out. I have learned to embrace them, as I easily remember a time (not so long ago) when I used to pray and beg God for the gift of tears. It seemed all emotions were closed with a big sign that read, “Out of Order”. I used to wonder what was wrong with me. Why was everyone else crying and I wasn’t? Did I really have a heart?  People expressed how much love they felt from me, and I know that was genuine. I felt tears flowing on the inside, yet I felt broken. I remember envying those who could access their tears when sad or happy.

Wow has that changed over this year! Looking back, I realize that I’ve always been a doer….keeping busy caring for others, and taking the issue at hand to help solve or “fix” things. I loved making a difference in people’s lives….I love the connections that bind us in love with serving others.  I’ve been blessed with an ability to know what needs to be done….to see the heart of the matter and offer simple and effective solutions (often with a listening ear and open heart). I’ve been able to witness people’s broken hearts and their most secret thoughts, all with love, acceptance, and a heap of clarity and compassion.

And I also realized that part of what made me so good at what I do, is that I hated seeing people suffer. It didn’t make sense since my life was sitting with those who have suffered, but I realized that I sat with them because I loved them and I knew that they would be ok.  It also didn’t hurt I also had a gift for knowing exactly what to do. Give me a problem, and let me bring all the tools and resources I have gained and I can help solve the problem (even if all it requires is a listening ear). That was (still is) a comfortable place for me.

So with the unexpected passing of my aunt and seeing so many of my family grieving (including myself) and not feeling able to really help, it left me with a broken heart and many many tears. I needed a social media break to really go inside and work through my own grieving heart, and I finally feel I’m coming out on the other side intact, with a few bumps.

I haven’t really allowed myself to grieve the loss of my grandma since it was such a stressful time for me with my own health and life challenges.  Her passing came as a relief to her in so many ways since she could finally leave all the pain and return to her beloved sweetheart, who she missed so very much.

And yet, with the passing of my aunt, it seemed that the accumulations the past 6 years, starting with my grandpa’s death, some family accidents and trauma (thankfully no deaths resulted from that), and then my sweet aunt…all the aftermath seemed to hit all at once. I wasn’t in a place to “do” anything. I needed to stop “doing” and just allow my broken heart time.

It hit me how much life has changed: the family dynamics, everything I loved and lived for growing up…my security blanket…. my whole life …. changed. And while it’s been an emotional heart breaking kind of week, it’s also been a healing week, as the cleansing tears have been washing all the stress and hardship.

I’m the first to admit I don’t have all the answers, and I am most definitely human, with all kinds of emotions. What brings peace is knowing that change will continue to happen, life will unfold in ways I cannot see, and will likely be in ways I don’t think are “right” with my limited sight into the future. Yet through it all, I most certainly am not alone in this journey of human moments. I know that the only real healing and peace comes (in my knowing) from a loving Heavenly Father, who wants so very much for me to feel of His love and His peace.

I have always been excellent at sharing God’s love with others, yet I wasn’t always open to receiving it for myself. I’m a work in progress, and I feel that this week, with all the tears and grieving has allowed this broken cracked heart to open up and also feel some healing love for myself. I know I’ll be ok (I already am), and I know peace and clarity will continue to come. And so it is.  This post isn’t written as a call for help or sympathy, but rather a sharing of what’s been on my heart, and what I see so many of my clients experience. Grief, loss, and death are a natural and necessary part of this life, as going through them are the only way to bring wholeness, healing, and joy. And so here I am…. on this human journey we all must experience.  All is well.  And so it is.

 

 

Use Your Senses!

Our 5 senses are POWERFUL in triggering old patterns and beliefs.

What do you experience when you smell freshly baked bread? Or when you hear a car horn honking, taste a sour lemon, see a beautiful sunset, or have a meaningful conversation?

When choosing consciously, we can use our senses to our advantage to help shift unwanted emotions or thoughts.  Our senses (sight, sound, smell, touch, and feel) are working 24/7 for us, and they are taking in close to 2 million bits of information every second. Crazy right?!  Thank heavens we don’t have to be responsible for making sure our heart keeps beating, or tell our kidneys keep filtering, or even make sure our digestive system keeps digesting.

When we understand that our subconscious is designed to protect us, and that our senses constantly gather information to help keep us safe, we can then learn to work with our body and our environment, and not just react to it.  We become empowered to act, rather than re-act. 

I’ll be covering the 5 senses over the next week to discuss how to leverage these powerful gifts.  Check back in here for more information on the power of our senses this week.  Until then…..

Choose Joy,

Naturally Kathy

Daring to Compare

Happy photos with filters and posts colorfully canvas our social media feeds. They paint a pretty picture of what “reality” is for the world, yet they in no way represent reality. The small snapshot in time we see is just that…a snapshot.

And why wouldn’t we smile for a snapshot? The brief moment in time is conveying the message, the perfection we want our friends/family/world to believe about us.  And while I love seeing my feeds full of positivity and good things (including my own), if we don’t understand that it is just that…a snapshot…then it can leave us feeling extremely inadequate, like we don’t have a good life, that we are ugly, boring, unacceptable, and/or (fill in the blank here).

It can be all too easy to let the inner/outer comparison critic take over when literally everything around us is geared to advertise and capture our attention. Even the “free” advertising available to do with our own home businesses through social media. And yet, with the algorithms and search engines that are designed to show us what we want, like, and are like, it can be difficult to see the truth, or even a balance of friends/experiences. Especially if we aren’t conscious of the fact that literally every click, search, and like brings more of what we click, search, and like. While this is great news for people who are marketing their product/service, it can be quite the mental and emotional rabbit hole for everyone else, particularly if we’re unaware of what is happening.

An example of this is my personal career choice. I have been a speaker/trainer/coach for several years and absolutely LOVE what I do. Naturally, I have been liking and searching for things related to speaking/training/and coaching. As a result, my feed is full of other speakers/trainers/coaches. While I LOVE connecting and learning of and from more people like me, if I wasn’t aware of how the internet works, I would start to think that EVERYONE is a speaker/trainer/coach and could easily get down on myself by comparing myself or my less than wonderful life to their “reality”.

Even the ads are geared towards what I click, search, and like.  The photos/selfies/ads sit there taunting me…daring me to compare myself to others, making me believe I need to be happier, louder, more fun, do more, be more, etc. And because this is all I tend to see, the natural comparison monkey excitedly tells me (sometimes yells at me) what I “need” to be doing in order to fit in or to grow my own business, or to get more likes, etc. I look at my feed, only to see how amazing people are living such amazing lives and the reality of how far I have yet to get there.  Sound familiar?

And yet the true reality is, while coaching is increasing by leaps and bounds, it is still an incredibly small percentage compared to all the other professions out there. So while my feed and search engines are full of other people doing what I’m doing, the snapshots I’m getting, are only adding pressure, making me believe I don’t have a voice in this great sea of bandwidth space we’re in.

Seeing so many other people doing the same thing (while in reality it’s a small percentage, just targeted marketing/advertising) can make one feel small if they are not centered and grounded in themselves. Confidence can be lost or challenged, and the pressure and deception of how your feed looks to you is something that can cause you to feel like you have to become something different than what you are just to have a voice and be seen/liked. The snapshot in time we get that is in no ways reality for the majority of the day for most individuals.

So breathe deep my friends. Look around at your feed, continue to click, search, and like posts, but do so with awareness that everyone (including the filtered/picture perfect ads) are all normal human beings doing the best they can in life, expressing a snapshot in time. You are doing better than you think you are and you are not alone in feeling less than when the comparison monkey jumps out. Hold your head up high and know that you are enough just the way you are. You are loved.

Naturally, Your Life Coach,

Kathy

You Become what You Eat (Mind/Body/Spirt)

“You are what you eat”. A common phrase that’s tossed around quite a bit.  Sometimes the old simple adages are also the most life-changing. And yet, I’d like to take it a step further…You become what you eat (Mentally, Physically, and Spiritually). 

When I first began waking up to reclaiming my health well over a decade ago, I learned that outer beauty really does begin within. It starts with clean food and drinking clean pure water.  It comes from breathing life deeply, living in such a way that you live in harmony with your values and dreams.  It comes from doing the hard inner emotional work of healing the traumas and wounds. And it comes from connecting with the Divine (for me, that means God), and also the Divine within (our highest self). 

When I got fed up with being so sick (my doctor told me I was on the meds they give AIDS patients because my immune system was so reactive), I gave up and gave in. I dropped to my knees, completely ready to surrender my way that obviously wasn’t working. It was such an eye opening experience when the Spirit led me to clean up my diet. (I actually jumped into a cleanse and a raw vegan diet, which I continued for 7 years.) 

One of the first things that happened (besides feeling more hope and empowered for the first time in years of living with dis-ease) is that I had such peace of mind, and my skin and face cleared up too. In the past, I had suffered with internal anxiety that I didn’t realize how bad it was until I didn’t have it anymore. I also suffered years of horrible cyst-like acne that looked like I was a walking chicken pox disease. My doctors told me diet had nothing to do with it.  

I don’t believe that doctor’s are ill-meaning, and honestly, I believe they get a bad wrap these days.  However, they whole western medical system is not set up in our favor.  It’s a huge business where doctors study diseases and symptoms as separate parts, not wellness or the whole. They study how we get sickness and disease, not how we get well.  And they get paid for us being sick, not well. Their schools are funded by special interest groups and they literally get only one or two courses on nutrition, (based off of the Standard American Diet, which is also driven by special interest groups and lobbyists). While this is a huge topic on it’s own, I’m not here to put down any one/thing, but more to empower others to realize that there are other options, and often very simple ones. I’ve done the medical route for years, struggling with side effects and reactions to pretty much all meds I  was on (including being allergic to my thyroid meds) and I’ve found that I feel much better when I work from within. 

Working from within means taking accountability (instead of a pill) for your well being. It mean s taking action to eat clean nourishing foods, choosing to drink only water (rather than toxic energy drinks, heavy caffeine drinks, carbonated sugar drinks, and even worse, the neurotoxic sugar-free substitutes). It means being willing to take time for yourself to figure out what you love, what your heart’s calling you to, and how you can contribute to the world.  Working from within means letting go of believing you are a victim to life and be willing to say “I am responsible for the outcome of my life”.

Enter coaching.  Most of us here in the world were never taught how to process our emotions (let alone encouraged to actually feel them). This is where I step in and get to help clients do the hard inner work.  I get to assist in the emotional processing by holding space for people to experience breakthroughs. They discover natural holistic solutions, reconnect to their hearts, the Divine, as well as be their own naturally beautiful authentic individual.

If this calls to you and you’re ready to take action to change the results you’re getting in life, then click here and let’s connect!